Behind the Filter: How Social Media Impacts Self-Esteem & What You Can Do About It
- Tracey Mudge
- Aug 9
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 9
We scroll through social media more than ever before - checking updates, liking photos, and sharing memes. But underneath the highlight reels, inspirational quotes, and perfectly filtered snapshots, something deeper is going on. For many people, especially young people, frequent social media use is quietly reshaping how they see themselves.
Self-esteem (your internal sense of worth and value) can be deeply influenced by what you consume online. While social media can be fun, empowering, and even connecting, it also has the potential to chip away at your self-worth if you’re not using it consciously.
In this post, we’ll explore how social media affects self-esteem, what the research says, and how you can protect your mental wellbeing in a digital world that’s always “on.”
The Rise of the Scroll
Globally, the average person spends over 2.5 hours per day on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and X (formerly Twitter). For younger users, it’s even higher. In a world of likes, follows, and filters, we are constantly exposed to curated images of other people’s lives (often comparing them to our own behind-the-scenes reality).
And that’s where self-esteem can take a hit.
What the Research Shows
The link between social media and self-esteem isn’t just a guess; it’s been seen over and over in studies and surveys.
Here’s what stands out:
1. Social Comparison Is Everywhere
Scrolling means you’re constantly seeing the “best bits” of other people’s lives - the holiday snaps, perfect bodies, career wins, cute couples. Even when you know it’s curated, your brain still compares. Research has found that the more people compare themselves to others on social media, the lower their self-esteem tends to be. Those quick moments of “Why don’t I have that?” can add up, chipping away at how you see yourself.
2. We Start Relying on Likes for Worth
When we post something, it’s natural to want a good response. But over time, likes, comments, and shares can start to feel like a scorecard for our value. If a post “does well,” we feel good. If it doesn’t, we can spiral into questioning ourselves. Studies show that young people who place high importance on social media feedback often have lower self-esteem and overall wellbeing.
3. Body Image Pressure Is Real
Apps like Instagram can create a minefield for body confidence, especially for teens. Filters, editing tools, and carefully chosen angles create beauty standards that are almost impossible to meet in real life. Internal research from Instagram’s parent company found that for 1 in 3 teenage girls, the app made body image concerns worse. And it’s not just teens - adults feel it too.
4. It Affects Mental Health Beyond Confidence
Social media isn’t just tied to how we feel about ourselves in the mirror - it’s also linked to higher rates of anxiety, low mood, loneliness, and sleep disruption. And while younger people are often in the spotlight for these issues, adults can be just as affected.
Who’s Most at Risk?
While social media affects everyone differently, certain groups are more vulnerable to its negative impacts on self-esteem:
Teenagers and adolescents, whose sense of identity is still forming
People struggling with anxiety, depression, or perfectionism
Those with a history of bullying, trauma, or low self-worth
Users who rely heavily on social media for connection or validation
People in appearance-driven industries (e.g., influencers, fitness, fashion)
Knowing who’s most at risk helps us target support and build awareness.
How to Protect Yourself (and Your Loved Ones)
Social media isn’t inherently harmful, but without boundaries and awareness, it can become toxic. Here’s how to build a healthier relationship with the online world:
1. Get Curious About Your Triggers
Notice how you feel after scrolling. Energized? Inspired? Or drained, self-critical, and flat? Certain accounts or types of content might trigger self-comparison or anxiety. Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel worse (even if they’re “popular” or trending).
Try this 3-question filter:
Do I feel better or worse about myself after viewing this?
Am I consuming or comparing?
Would I follow this account if no one else knew I did?
2. Take Regular Breaks
Digital detoxes don’t need to be extreme. Try:
One screen-free hour in the morning and evening
A “no-scroll Sunday”
Switching your phone to grayscale to reduce dopamine triggers
Removing apps from your home screen
Even small boundaries can reset your nervous system and reduce compulsive checking.
3. Strengthen Internal Validation
Practice affirming yourself from within, not based on likes or reactions. Journaling, mindfulness, therapy, or coaching can help strengthen your internal voice.
Ask yourself:
What do I value about myself that isn’t based on appearance or achievement?
What would I say to a friend feeling this way?
What makes me feel grounded, regardless of what others think?
4. Talk Openly with Teens and Young Adults
If you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver, normalise conversations about social media and mental health. Create space for young people to share what they’re seeing and feeling without judgment.
Use questions like:
“Have you ever felt worse after scrolling through Instagram?”
“Which influencers do you follow, and how do they make you feel?”
“What would help you feel more confident online?”
5. Customise Your Feed for Empowerment
Your feed should reflect what uplifts you. Not just what’s trending.
Follow accounts that show real, unedited life
Support mental health educators, body positivity advocates, and creators who promote authenticity
Add content that makes you laugh, think, or feel inspired
You are allowed to create an online space that supports your mental health, not one that undermines it.
Final Thoughts: You Are More Than A Like Count
Social media isn’t going away, but we can choose how we engage with it. Self-esteem is built from the inside out, not through filters, algorithms, or comments.
You don’t need to look a certain way, achieve a certain thing, or gain a certain following to be worthy. You already are.
So next time you’re scrolling and find yourself slipping into comparison mode, pause. Breathe. Remind yourself: this is a highlight reel, not the full story. And your story is still unfolding in real, beautiful ways offline.
Need Support?
At Tracey Lee Coaching & Therapy, I offer affordable coaching, counselling, and therapy (including for teens, young adults, and parents navigating the digital world). If you or someone you love is feeling the pressure of social media, let's talk.
Visit www.traceyleecoaching.co.nz to learn more or book a session. You're not alone. And your self-worth deserves to be protected.
References
DataReportal, Global Social Media Stats 2023
Vogel, E. A., et al. (2014). “Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem.” Computers in Human Behavior
Nesi, J., & Prinstein, M. J. (2016). “Using social media for social comparison and feedback-seeking: Gender and popularity moderate associations with depressive symptoms.” Journal of Adolescence
Wall Street Journal, 2021. Facebook’s Internal Research on Instagram & Teen Girls
Royal Society for Public Health (UK), “#StatusOfMind” Report
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